God Speaks

God Speaks through friends who give you songs:

God Speaks

God speaks through friends who send poems by e-mail.

I said, "Let me walk in the field";

God said, "No, walk in the town";

I said, "There are no flowers there";

He said, "No flowers, but a crown."

I said, "But the sky is black,

There is nothing but noise and din";

But He wept as He sent me back,

"There is more," He said, "there is sin."

I said, "But the air is thick,

And smog is veiling the sun";

He answered, "Yet souls are sick,

And your work is yet undone."

I said, "I will miss the light,

And friends will miss me, they say";

He answered me, "Choose tonight,

If I am to miss you, or they."

I pleaded for time to be given;

He said, "Is it hard to decide?

It will not seem hard in Heaven

To have followed the steps of your Guide."

I cast one look at the field,

Then set my face to the town;

He said, "My child, do you yield?

Will you leave the flowers for the crown?"

Then into His hand went mine,

And into my heart came He;

And I walk in a light Divine,

The path I had feared to see.

-George MacDonald

Next step to Jamaica

I received my psychological evaluation forms (Life History Questionnaire) and test from CSI this week. The life history covers everything from mental illness in any blood relative to medical conditions to spiritual history. It feels as though I have bared my entire live in these pages. Then they ask for a autobiography defined as "very brief summarization of life from childhood through the present time." So what exactly is "very brief" when it comes to almost half a century of life? It feels weird to summarize your life in a couple of paragraphs, but that to me is what very brief means.
The test is called the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory. It took me a little over two hours to answer all 566 true and false questions. While I believe that the cumulative answers to these questions reveal a persons personality, each question on it's own seems a bit strange. I wonder what the questions I liked "Alice in Wonderland" by Lewis Carrol, My hands and feet as usually warm enough, and I think Lincoln was greater than Washington reveal about your personality.
So my part of the next step is completed and now I wait again for the results......

Next Step to Jamaica

I had my meeting this morning with the staff as CSI and I feel that everything went very well. They ask me many questions which lasted about 2 hours. When asked about my call to long term mission work, I was able to quote the scriptures that God has laid on my heart and also explain about the many other ways God has confirmed this call to me. In my last post I let you in on two of the scriptures that God opened up to me as I was considering this calling. We had great conversation about CSI ministries, their vision for short term mission trips, the role of being a long term missionary with CSI. The next step is the psychological testing. This comes in the form of a questionnaire which I will fill out and Pastor Kris acting as my proxy will return to the company that evaluates the forms and sends the results to CSI. After this test, I will possibly have an interview with CSI's personnel committee and or the executive board. The board does not meet again until May but they may agree to meet with me prior this. So as God leads I will follow him step by step.
PS: I feel so excited I can hardly contain myself. I want to move to Jamaica right NOW! But my self disciplined part knows that God's timing is perfect and anything outside of his timing just wouldn't be as good.

Jamaica Update

Bright and early on Monday morning (9:00 am)I have a meeting with the CSI staff at the Muncie office. I think this is steps 5 and 6 as listed in this post. I am excited about visiting CSI World Headquarters and learning about my next steps in the process of becoming a missionary in Jamaica. However I am a bit apprehensive in communicating my calling. I find it difficult to adequately describe exactly what God has done in my heart and how He has communicated to me this calling on my life. Some of the things I will be sharing are how God placed a desire in my heart to live with and minister to the Jamaican people. How I believe that God has revealed to me in a dream that I would be moving into a new opportunity, and the instructions that He gave me in that dream. I will also be sharing how God has confirmed this calling through the words of fellow Christians and the bible. The following is a part of a letter I wrote to family and friends to describe my future plans.
"My first trip to Jamaica was last August and after that trip I came home with a tremendous love for the people of Jamaica. The desire to serve the people of Jamaica continued to grow in my heart; as Psalm 37:4 says “Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart” I know God placed this desire in my heart because it is not like me to want to make major life changes. I have lived my entire life in this area of Indiana, close to my family, and until this trip I did not have any desire to move anywhere else. But now I know that God is calling me to explore a position as a full time missionary to Jamaica. I have heard him call me as he did Jeremiah in verse 1:7 But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. So I made a second trip to Jamaica in October and at that time I investigated the ministry of CSI in Jamaica and spent time with the other missionaries posted there. We discussed what God has placed in their hearts to do for him. I am beginning to understand what God would want me to do in Jamaica and as the vision becomes clear I will be sharing with my family and friends at the proper time. So I have surrendered to God in this matter and have begun the process of becoming a full time missionary. I can not begin to know God’s timing in this but will be faithful to move forward each step as he leads."
I will keep you updated as I learn more about this journey.